We are almost in February, and if your New Year’s resolutions are beginning to fade, you’re not alone.

We even have a name for it, ‘Quitter’s Day’, the day when many of us have already given up on our well-meant promises. This year, it fell on 9th January. So, if you’re still hanging in there, that’s a reason to celebrate.

For those of you struggling with those commitments you made to yourself, February offers us a gentle pause to rethink and reflect.

What’s worked so far? What hasn’t?

Rather than pushing harder, February gives us a chance to think differently and to consider putting smaller, realistic systems in place that help our new habits feel easier and more sustainable.

For instance, if you’ve nearly completed Dry January, can you continue with alcohol-free weekdays?

Or if you’ve committed to regular exercise, can you choose one or two regular days during the week to build on your fitness and give yourself more flexibility at weekends?

It’s not about perfection; it’s about creating a system that works around you.

I love podcasts and audiobooks, so I put a system in place that I only allow myself to listen while I’m walking or cleaning. It’s a simple trade-off, but it works for me, it fits in with my routine and helps me to move more, rather than feeling like I ‘’have to.’’

I also love the gusto so many of us have at the start of a new year, but let’s be honest, life gets in the way. We push for an idealistic way of life that we know won’t easily fit into our routines and relationships. Things happen, we forget the promises we made to ourselves, and our resolutions fade into memory, until next year.

In my experience, the key to success is that whatever system we create it has to feel possible. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does have to be realistic. We have to be honest with ourselves about what’s achievable, and that’s not a failure.

I also find it helpful to think in minimums, rather than maximums. When we aim for a maximum, we can set ourselves up to feel like we’ve failed before we even begin.

So perhaps ask yourself, what is the minimum commitment that will help your resolution to work?

If you meet that minimum each week, you’re already succeeding. And from there, you can build at a pace that fits into your routine without thinking.

Life will always get busy; motivation will come and go. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it means you’re human.

So, if your resolutions have faded, let’s reset in February. Don’t think of it as a restart, more of an honest rethink. Change should feel lighter, not like a grind, one step, one day, one week at a time.

What are you going to change in February?

Nicole C Weiss LCSW

• Phone: 619-318-5012
• Email: [email protected]