I’ve not written for a while. Like all of us trying to come up with different topics and angles for blog content, I’ve felt like I reached my limits for new ideas.
This week threw me for a loop though. A client who I’ve been working with for only a short time called to let me know how much the work we’ve been doing together has helped her. In my work I have to say that isn’t unusual to hear but I’ve seen a huge change in this particular client.
And this experience has finally inspired me to write again
It’s become a predictable but all too common phenomenon: A beloved celebrity dies, and the social media blame games begin. As news of a celebrity death spreads across our screens, most people act, well, as decent human beings.
We experience the shared grief and sadness at a life lost too soon or celebrate a long life lived well. As the comments, tweets and remembrances roll in, most people express sadness, kindness, and loss with respect.
While your initial instinct may be to say, “no”, take a moment to really think about it.
A really sweet male client came into my office a few months ago. For years he had been in bad relationships with women who didn’t treat him well. He was delighted to tell me that he had finally found a good match! But he had booked an appointment with me because he found he was picking fights with her. He was confused by his own behavior wondering why he was doing something that he ultimately felt was blocking his own happiness.
Over the past 15 years my views on what it means to “have issues” have changed. Sure there are people who have serious mental illnesses – and that absolutely cannot be minimized. It’s important to act quickly and thoroughly when someone has acute health issues. Yet I have come to realize that most of us are just dealing with the human condition.
When you get the call or arrive to see someone who is depressed it can feel overwhelming. You may want to help but you may not exactly know how. You may feel at a loss for words, unsure of what direction to take or feel downright helpless. And as a therapist I have noticed that feeling helpless is one of the emotions that humans dislike most.