When I started my practice, I wanted a phrase that said something true about how I work. “Think Positive” was everywhere, on mugs and posters and in every self-help book. It never sat right with me, and it still doesn’t. So I built my approach around a different idea: think possible.
Positive thinking asks you to feel good about something. It asks you to look at your life and find the bright side, even when the bright side is hard to see. Thinking possible asks a different question. It asks what could be true, and what you could actually do about it. The first can leave people feeling like they’ve failed when they can’t make themselves feel better. The second gives them somewhere to go.
I also think this is where the work usually begins. I start where you are, not where a book says you should be. If you come in feeling stuck, angry, grieving, or unsure whether you even want to be in therapy, that is the starting point. I’m not trying to move you toward my agenda for your life. I’m trying to help you find the things that will help you feel happy and fulfilled.
That means possible doesn’t mean painless, and it doesn’t always mean the outcome you wanted. Some situations really are hard, and some losses don’t get undone. Thinking possible doesn’t deny that. It just refuses to let a hard situation be the only thing you can see. There is often more room than people expect, even inside a difficult circumstance.
Thinking possible also doesn’t require you to be cheerful about it. You don’t need to feel positive to begin. You need to be willing to look at what is happening, ask what might be possible, and take one step that fits your actual life. Sometimes that step is small, and sometimes it is uncomfortable. Both count.
If you’re wondering whether this approach is right for you, the simplest test is this: after you talk with someone, do you have a clearer sense of what you could do next? If so, you’re on the right track. If you’d like to talk about what that might look like for you, I’m happy to hear from you.
Nicole C Weiss LCSW
- Phone: 619-318-5012
- Email: [email protected]
Leave a Reply