When “I’m Fine” Means “I’m Exhausted”

You meet every deadline.
You show up prepared.
You’re the one others turn to when things fall apart.

From the outside, you’re thriving. But inside, it’s another story entirely.

At the end of the day, you collapse into bed, not from physical exhaustion, but from the mental marathon you’ve been running since morning. Conversations loop in your head. You replay moments, dissect your words, question your tone. “Was I weird? Did I overshare? Did I say too much?”

This is the experience of high-functioning anxiety.

What No One Sees Beneath the Surface

High-functioning anxiety is sneaky. It doesn’t look like the anxiety we often hear about. It’s not always panic attacks or avoidance. Instead, it’s hidden beneath competence, masked by achievement, and often praised as “driven” or “responsible.”

But here’s what it often feels like:

• Rehearsing every possible scenario before a conversation
• Apologizing for things that didn’t hurt anyone
• Feeling on edge even when things are calm
• Needing everything to be “just right” to feel in control
• Faking confidence while second-guessing every move

And the most confusing part?
You might still be functioning, meeting goals, excelling at work, showing up socially, while feeling like you’re quietly unraveling underneath it all.

You’re Not Overreacting. You’re Overwhelmed.

The voice of anxiety is often loudest after the world goes quiet.
It tells you you’re too much. Or not enough.
It questions what went well and zooms in on what might have gone wrong.
And it convinces you that if you just tried harder, then you’d feel okay.

But the truth?
You don’t need to earn peace by proving your worth.
You don’t have to hustle for permission to rest.
Being good at managing life doesn’t mean you aren’t struggling through it.

So What Can You Do?

First, name it.
Sometimes just putting language to your experience, “this is anxiety” can soften its grip.

Second, get curious.
What am I afraid will happen? What am I trying to protect myself from? What does my anxiety think it’s helping me do?

And finally, consider support.
Whether it’s therapy, coaching, or another safe space to process what you’re carrying, having someone help you untangle the noise can make a world of difference.
You don’t have to figure it all out alone.

You’re Not Alone in This

High-functioning anxiety is more common than you think, and less visible than it should be.

Therapy or coaching can be a powerful step forward. Not only can it offer relief, but it can also equip you with tools to manage stress, quiet the inner critic, and navigate life with more clarity and confidence.

Support doesn’t mean you’re not capable, it means you don’t have to carry it all alone.

You deserve to feel calm, grounded, and enough, without the constant overthinking spiral every night.
When you’re ready, the right support can make all the difference.

Nicole C Weiss LCSW

• Phone: 619-318-5012
• Email: [email protected]