The Best Change Begins with Mistakes

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While I find this statement really annoying, looking back I can precisely recall the times where I have

  1. Radically blown it
    And guess what?
  2. I learned. A TON.

This week has been a (freaking) week of lessons.. I wish lessons were best learned through those bursts of ideas that you get while driving, looking at a sunset or after a really great glass of cabernet. But NO. Most of the time they come from silly mistakes. Here are some great examples of my mistakes:

  • Being a know it all in my 20’s.  Oh my goodness. God bless my friends and family for hanging in there with me during these years. I learned a ton and basically can do my job because of the humility I gained but….it must not have been easy for those around me.
  • Marrying the wrong person (then getting divorced).  I am currently writing a book on dating BECAUSE of this mistake. But this pretty much cured my “know it all 20’s”. Truth was, I knew NADA. And the funny thing is that once I realized that I didn’t know everything…I started to like myself more. And I hope/think that I became easier to be around.  
  • Thinking that I knew how to raise kids before I had kids. Ha ha ha. Be with wild/uncivilized people all day and do it perfectly. Good luck!
  • Thinking that my parents knew nothing. It kind of piggy backs on the last mistake. Yes, like all parents, mine made mistakes but I do not doubt that they gave it their very best. Understanding that they are human has softened me and has allowed me to accept that I am human too. My parents taught me how to be real, work hard and to value family and life and to me that is extraordinary.
  • Thinking that somewhere out there perfection/nirvana existed and I was smart enough to find it.  Omg. I looked everywhere! So far my best feeling about seeking perfection  is that we are all doing the best we can while hurling around on a rock in space. I mean your guess is as good as mine (seriously). I don’t know. I do know that every single day I get up try/succeed/try/fail/try/succeed then coast/enjoy/blunder/coast/enjoy.. And at the end of the day I feel glad to be here. So that is as close to nirvana that I have found. I am extremely grateful for that.

Just to be clear…. I do think it is actually GOOD to grow so much from mistakes/ pain/ disappointment. I just don’t like the weeks that those learning experiences happen in as much as the ones that they don’t. That’s it. Now where is my cabernet?

XO, Nicole

Nicole C Weiss LCSW

Nicole WeissThe Best Change Begins with Mistakes

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