I was swimming with my children on a beautiful beach in Poipu, Kauai when this dialogue took place.
Child: “Mom, your legs are chubby.”
Me: “Now, is that nice to say?”
Child: ”Yes, they are comfortable to sit on.”
This of course, got my wheels spinning (in the not so great ways). You know, the beat yourself up, how-did-it-all-go-so-wrong kind of ways.
I gingerly, carefully approached the scale the next morning. It was our 6th day of vacation. The number staring back at me was not what I wanted, nor what I was used to seeing.
I am a few years into my forties now and keeping weight off isn’t as easy as it was…say ten years ago. It feels more like my first year of college when it seemed easier to gain weight with unlimited cafeteria food than it did to say, stay my normal weight.
And so I began to think. No one exactly teaches us about how to handle our ever-changing bodies.
How should we approach these years?
Give up? Give in?
Fall into negative thinking?
Never eat chocolate again?
I’d like to think I just “don’t care” how I look, but I know that isn’t totally true. I do care.
Yet I am also acutely aware after losing my dad last year that life is incredibly short and it can all change with one doctor’s visit. I know that vanity is mostly a waste of time…but we all care a little. Right? So with all of those thoughts cooking in the same pot, what to do, what to do?
I churned it over until I decided I would:
- Be thankful for what my body does do…run. walk, breathe on its own, play with my kids.
- Do the best I can to be healthy. I will honor myself by eating well and exercising.
- Refuse to give up chocolate, good food and good wine to look a certain way. Hell No. Moderation. That’s my compromise.
- Accept that life is forever imperfectly perfect. And try to see the world through my daughter’s eyes. You know, chubby thighs are MORE comfortable, after all.
Nicole C Weiss LCSW
- Phone: 619-318-5012
- Email: [email protected]