It’s become a predictable but all too common phenomenon: A beloved celebrity dies, and the social media blame games begin. As news of a celebrity death spreads across our screens, most people act, well, as decent human beings.
We experience the shared grief and sadness at a life lost too soon or celebrate a long life lived well. As the comments, tweets and remembrances roll in, most people express sadness, kindness, and loss with respect.
One of the biggest tricks to plugging in and thinking possible is finding your flavor.
Why do I use the word “flavor”? Because I want to help you to get you out of your head and into your heart and soul. So much of our programming has to do with thinking. And thinking is great! For some things. We need our thinking brain for math and science and maps and all kinds of other logic-based reasoning, but what we know about happiness is that it is NOT one size fits all principle. There is no one correct solution for everyone, the way there might be to a math or science problem. Therefore thinking only is not the sole key toward achieving happiness. We must also include the heart.
Nicole C Weiss LCSW
Nicole WeissNicole’s 4 Steps To Finding Your Life’s Flavor
When I came up with the term to think possible, it was in response to years of thinking that to be successful you had to be close to perfect. As I dismantled my own belief that one had to be excellent in every way to be excellent in some ways I realized that many of the people that came in to see me felt the same way. If I am not almost perfect in all ways I can’t be amazing in any one way?
So this is what we did. It is what we do. We spent all day making the massa sovada, the bread of my ancestors. We baked it the way my dad’s mom had, which she had learned from her mom, and her mom had likely learned from hers. The recipe has changed a little, but with so few ingredients, it remains pretty similar. We do this to connect to my grandma. By connecting to her we connect with each other (which was her biggest passion anyway).
This morning when I woke up the sun hit my face in a way that made me feel happy, glad to be alive. It’s not because I slept well. I woke up halfway through the night thinking for too long before I fell back asleep. And today is full and with no breaks. But still I feel good.
My very favorite part of the growth process is when change becomes so real and so natural that it becomes like a fire in your belly that can’t be contained. Let’s call it a good fire. I felt this way after my divorce from my first husband. Leaving without knowing if I would even marry again (and not really caring either way on that one), not knowing how or if I would have children (something I still wanted) and saying to the world…whatever comes next I don’t care because anything is better than this. I felt as if I stopped caring about what others thought (as much). And started caring MORE about what was important to me. What was once a small flame of self love, respect and deep knowing grew big and bright.
While your initial instinct may be to say, “no”, take a moment to really think about it.
A really sweet male client came into my office a few months ago. For years he had been in bad relationships with women who didn’t treat him well. He was delighted to tell me that he had finally found a good match! But he had booked an appointment with me because he found he was picking fights with her. He was confused by his own behavior wondering why he was doing something that he ultimately felt was blocking his own happiness.
Nicole C Weiss LCSW
Nicole WeissDo You Get Addicted to Your Bad Patterns?