While your initial instinct may be to say, “no”, take a moment to really think about it.
A really sweet male client came into my office a few months ago. For years he had been in bad relationships with women who didn’t treat him well. He was delighted to tell me that he had finally found a good match! But he had booked an appointment with me because he found he was picking fights with her. He was confused by his own behavior wondering why he was doing something that he ultimately felt was blocking his own happiness.
Nicole C Weiss LCSW
Nicole WeissDo You Get Addicted to Your Bad Patterns?
Over the past 15 years my views on what it means to “have issues” have changed. Sure there are people who have serious mental illnesses – and that absolutely cannot be minimized. It’s important to act quickly and thoroughly when someone has acute health issues. Yet I have come to realize that most of us are just dealing with the human condition.
When you get the call or arrive to see someone who is depressed it can feel overwhelming. You may want to help but you may not exactly know how. You may feel at a loss for words, unsure of what direction to take or feel downright helpless. And as a therapist I have noticed that feeling helpless is one of the emotions that humans dislike most.
Nicole C Weiss LCSW
Nicole WeissHow to Help a Loved One Weather a Depressive Storm
A client came in and told me that she felt terrible. “Why?” I asked.
“Well, I was with a friend and she told me that she landed her dream job. Making four times as much as me. I wanted to be happy for her, but I just felt jealous. I felt like we weren’t in the same league. All I could think was that I could never have what she has.”
Mantras for the not so positive-a primer for taking the very first step.
I am a therapist. I am also big on working with people in ways that I am willing to work on myself and that have actually worked for me or others rather than giving the textbook answer. In short, I try my best not to be a hypocrite. I also know that people are different than me and some interventions will work for them even though they never worked for me. For example, the extrovert who has issues with sharing the microphone with someone else. Definitely not an issue I have but can still offer solutions none the less. If you read about change the list is usually the same-journal, vent, write down triggers, write down alternatives, blame your mother. And these things work well blaming your mother actually doesn’t work. But what about when you have it down? What about when you are not actively needing day treatment or twice a week therapy. What then?