I follow a lot of business blogs and although I enjoy them, I see a nonstop necessity to go at full speed. In reality, in my work as a therapist and coach who mostly focuses on emotions, I realize that we are often limited by things that happen in our daily lives.
Today, my daughter asked me what my New Year’s resolution was. I told her I would like to be calmer and truth be told this was a resolution that I made several times last year. In 2017 I was trying to be calmer, or to put it another way, clinically-manage my frustration tolerance better. I improved but not as much as I wanted to. I think the reason for my failure was that I hadn’t fully embraced why I lose my cool.I hadn’t fully accepted that I use frustration to avoid being direct.
All due respect to Elton John, but I’ve found acceptance—not ‘sorry’—seems to be the hardest word.
We crave it on an almost cellular level—in fact, our very existence was once tied to acceptance from our tribe. Today, we seek it all the wrong places from the size of our paycheck to our number of “likes” on Facebook. We search for it from strangers and spouses alike. We try to fill our acceptance vacuum with everything from boxed wine and Netflix to spin class and Xanax.
Nicole C Weiss LCSW
Nicole WeissAcceptance (or the Art of Loving Our Imperfect Selves)
One of the biggest tricks to plugging in and thinking possible is finding your flavor.
Why do I use the word “flavor”? Because I want to help you to get you out of your head and into your heart and soul. So much of our programming has to do with thinking. And thinking is great! For some things. We need our thinking brain for math and science and maps and all kinds of other logic-based reasoning, but what we know about happiness is that it is NOT one size fits all principle. There is no one correct solution for everyone, the way there might be to a math or science problem. Therefore thinking only is not the sole key toward achieving happiness. We must also include the heart.
Nicole C Weiss LCSW
Nicole WeissNicole’s 4 Steps To Finding Your Life’s Flavor
When I came up with the term to think possible, it was in response to years of thinking that to be successful you had to be close to perfect. As I dismantled my own belief that one had to be excellent in every way to be excellent in some ways I realized that many of the people that came in to see me felt the same way. If I am not almost perfect in all ways I can’t be amazing in any one way?
Awhile ago my husband and I went to go see the unique and iconic singer Sia. She was amazing and we thoroughly enjoyed the show.
She never took center stage, instead choosing to stand off to the side. Her face was never visible. She stayed hidden behind her iconic wig. On center stage were her amazing dancers and actors and her full, beautiful voice filled the space around us. It was a full production. Yet she never placed herself at the center of it all.