I will forgive myself for behaving badly in my 20’s while I was trying to figure out who I was. I wasn’t a big party person but I was a know it all.
I thought I understood boundaries and relationships but now I know that I was mostly being an asshole (and a teeny bit judgemental). I forgive myself because at the time they were the best decisions I knew how to make.
I am not an asshole anymore and I have learned. It’s time to forgive myself.
The phrase JUST BE YOURSELF has always confused me when it comes to relating to other people. Obviously we all want to get along with others. We want this because it just feels nice, and because relating well to others is correlated with all kinds of perks like better health, an increase in happiness and a longer life.
Recently I had to print out and LOOK AT financials from my practice. When I saw the numbers my heart sunk. I felt that I hadn’t done well last year. I felt that I had slacked. And that made me feel guilty.
Then I stopped myself from heading down this path and began talking to myself…(not aloud. well maybe aloud). So this is how the self-analysis went down.
You Can Jump Through the Hoops without Believing they Will Make or Break You
Sister somebody once told me in the third grade, “Nicole, your handwriting is terrible. You will never get anywhere with that handwriting.” I remember trying to pay attention so I could master each task with perfection until I realized it probably wasn’t going to happen.
While at the time I was devastated by the news that my handwriting stunk, now I think, Is this true? Does my handwriting have to be good? I mean, do we have to be good at every subject?
Maybe not. In fact, what I have found in life is that working together with a team of different talents is good enough. It turns out that the things I don’t like to do or am not good at, other people like to do and are good at. If we work together, the job gets done. Why didn’t anyone tell me this before?
One of the most common ways a client will sabotage their own progress is through negative thinking. You know negative thinking… It’s when you try to embark upon something and a little voice in your head pops up and says, No! You can’t. You never could. Don’t you remember the time you totally screwed that up?
My clients who struggle with starting their own businesses say things like: Maybe this isn’t for me. Maybe I am better off having someone else call the shots. Maybe I should go back to what I was doing. Maybe I am not the type who can do this.